Tip #6

Get used to laundry being an all day (usually two-day) affair. And get used to you being an integral part of that all day process (more so than just folding the socks).

The machines here are not like the machines in the United States. They are considered 'semi-automatic'. Really they are more like an over-sized version of something I used in Chem Lab than an actual laundry machine. But, I digress. Whatever it is, machine or overgrown Chem Lab instrument, is split into two sections - the 'wash' section, and the 'dry' section.

The 'wash' section is really just a glorified, non-bladed blender. It jostles the clothes around for fifteen minutes in the water you personally provided via the outside water hose. If you want your clothes extra clean, turn the dial for an extra fifteen minutes of jostling, and maybe add another cup of detergent. No, there is not a pre-wash, wash, rinse, or spin cycle. There are no 'whitest whites', 'delicates', 'bulky', 'casual', or 'normal' settings. There are no 'highly soiled', 'normally soiled' or 'barely soiled' applications. And the water temperature settings? Those are determined by the time of day. Filling in the morning produces cold water, while filling in the afternoon produces a more warm temperature. Suffice to say, it is, in fact, a washer with no pretenses. It has a simplistic trilogy of modes: suave(soft), normal, fuerte (strong). This means only that the non-bladed blender at the bottom of the tub spins for more or less time, depending on which selection is made. I always choose fuerte, despite whether my clothes are 'delicates', 'whitest whites', or 'casual'. I don't really know why. I guess I feel like the added two seconds of jostling cleans them a bit better...?

Anyway, after they are washed, I manually remove the clothes from the jostle tub and insert them into a separate tub filled with water and fabric softener. This is the 'rinse' cycle. I used to rinse them quickly then 'dry' (we'll get to this) them and hang them on the line, but my land lady taught me to leave them soaking in this tub for at least an hour, allowing the nice fabric softener smell to penetrate the clothes better, masking their less-than-clean nature. Since she taught me this my clothes have smelled much nicer.

So, after soaking in the 'rinse' tub, I then put them into the opposite side of the washer - the part that is reminiscent of Chem Lab. This side is an overgrown centrifuge. If you are not familiar with a centrifuge, think about the teacups at Disney World - you know, you spin round and round until you puke your guts out. This is my 'dryer' - I insert the poor, naive articles of clothing into the little teacup tub, with the slightest twinge of sympathy for their undeserved trust, then slam the lid down and turn the dial. Three minutes is all it takes for them to, I'm sure, be puking their dry guts out.

And if the torture teacup isn't enough, I then string them up by their smallest appendages, leaving them to death by dehydration in the hot Bonairian sun.

"Semi-automatic". I guess the name really does suit it.

(Will post picture soon - I thought I had one, but I must have accidentally deleted it - for now, you will just have to google what it looks like, I guess...)