Tip #3

Get an apartment with a Dominican Landlord: more specifically, Amada.

You will have the best neighbors you can ever imagine having, your grocery bill will decrease by about half, based on the food they constantly bring over, and your son will have a never ending supply of cookies (I'm not sure if I love that point, but Bronson sure does...)

Plus, they will put up with your chickens roaming throughout their yard (and house), not mind all of the random boards that pile up in their driveway, watch your son while you cook, and sometimes even help you with your laundry (especially if it starts raining while you are out).

To top it all off, you will be lulled to sleep every night by the sound of their warm laughter and neighborhood-wide hospitality.

If anyone tells you Antriol, Bonaire is the ghetto, they have never visited Kaya Fidelia #11.

P.S. If you are lucky enough to get a Dominican landlord, don't forget to yell to them 'hey, compadre - que lo que?!' in your deepest, roughest, Dominican accent. They'll love it.